In this episode, I chat with Marta Abramska, who is an executive coach and led the Animas Transformative Coach training I took earlier this year. We deep dive into the Drama Triangle which explores the different roles we may take up when we are in a dysfunctional interaction - whether that’s with ourselves, with other people or with the wider system.
We talk about the different roles like Rescuer, Victim, and Persecutor, and share examples of how these roles play out, why it can be hard to step away from them, and what’s possible when we do. We explore a particular example in depth of the experience of someone trying to live sustainably and how we can move between these different roles from the rescuer - trying to save the world, the victim - feeling resentful or like ‘what’s the point?’ and the persecutor - blaming or being angry at other people and their actions. We talk about what impact it has to be in these roles and we discuss ways to bring self compassionate awareness to when these dynamics are playing out in order to shift from reactive roles toward more empowering roles. So that we can learn to take a pause and step into the Coach, the Creator and the Challenger roles that enable more healthy and dynamic relationships.
I hope you enjoy this conversation and it offers you some insight into the roles you can play and how to create space for more empowering and helpful interactions with yourself, with others and with the wider systems and circumstances of your life.
Marta transitioned from a 15-year corporate career in financial services and the insurance sector to become a full-time coach in 2018. Previously, she held people leadership roles in risk management and at a Big Four consultancy, where she discovered her passion for helping others grow and thrive. Today, Marta brings her coaching skills, insights, and lived experiences to clients across various industries and career stages.
A qualified coach, coach supervisor, and mentor with an ICF PCC credential, Marta is committed to high standards of practice. She believes meaningful work-life transformation is accessible to everyone, often without a drastic career overhaul. As part of the faculty at Animas and the International Centre for Coaching Supervision, Marta is dedicated to supporting others in her profession. Her greatest fulfillment comes from seeing clients gain clarity and confidence to build a life they love and become the best leaders they can be.
Having navigated major life transitions herself—multiple relocations, balancing side ventures, and parenthood—Marta brings a practical, empathetic, and deeply connected approach to coaching. Find her on her website: www.martaabramska.com.
Read Marta’s articles on topics like the inner critic, the drama triangle, and imposter phenomenon: www.martaabramska.com/articles
A few updates from me:
1:1 Coaching - If you are interested in exploring how coaching could support you in moving into more empowering roles in your relationships, you can book a free discovery call with me here.
Thrive! Group Coaching programme - we closed sign ups for our first group coaching programme for sustainability professionals and have a great group signed up so we are excited to start the programme next week (8th Nov). One person unfortunately had to drop out, so we have a spare space. If you’re interested, sign up here before Friday (or drop me an email hello@heatherlynch.co.uk)
Conscious Evolution Collage - I co-facilitated another Conscious Evolution workshop on Friday as part of the Freskival, we had a very engaged and lively discussion throughout the workshop. The creator of the workshop will be on the podcast in a couple of weeks and I’m excited for you to hear that episode. I am hosting an online Conscious Evolution Collage on Tuesday 26th November 6-9pm (sign up here) - come and join if you’re curious about understanding the roots of the metacrisis and how we can create a more desirable and sustainable future.
Conscious Changemakers walk- I host monthly relaxed and mindful walks in Reigate, Surrey for people who care about people and the planet and want to reconnect with nature and connect with like-minded people. I posted some reflections from the last walk on Linkedin here . You can sign up to the next one here.
Mindfulness for Changemakers - I am part of a group bringing together a monthly ‘mindfulness for changemakers’ session in London in the Plum Village tradition, where we will host a space to meditate and connect with each other in a mindful way. We are just confirming a time and location so I will share it here once it’s live. I am also co-facilitating a Plum Village Sangha session in Brighton on Thursday 7th November at 6:45pm - if you happen to be there, do come and join.
COMING SOON - On Becoming the Change programme… I am in the process of creating an offer for people to start in the New Year to support them on their journey of becoming the change they want to see. I would like to speak to people who are curious about doing more inner work to create systemic change, so if that’s you and you’d be up for a chat to share your journey and thoughts and are happy for me ask you a few questions, please schedule in a call with me. As a thank you, I will offer a free 45 min coaching call for your time.
The next episode of On Becoming the Change will be released next Thursday. Subscribe below to hear when it’s released.
Thank you for listening and reading. If any of what we talked about in the podcast resonated with you, I would love to hear your thoughts. Please do share it with anyone else you think might be interested.
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